Thursday, 13 November 2008

  • Dear Big girls...

    Guess what?

    Guys love you.

    Yup, we do. We love your personality, your wit, your love for kids, and most of all - your ability to cook.

    We love when you come in the office with homemade food and offer us some.
    We can't wait for the holidays, cause that means you're gonna make cookies and cakes and all kindsa treats.

    BUT

    We just can't show you off to our boys.

    Remember how guys are ego-driven?

    Yeah, that won't fly - bringing a 250lb, 5'5 girl around. Your boys will clown you.

    "Yo, what's up with your fat girl?"

    They ain't tryin to be the guy on the dance floor sweatin when the DJ plays "watch out for the big girl, b-b-big gurllll" ... nah.

    Hit the gym for a few months, cut those calories, and then give us a call.
    5'6, 160? I can handle that.
    5'6, 140? Even better. Thickness is not a problem with me.

    Two caveats and a tidbit:

    If your boyfriend is big too, he might not mind so much.
    Or if his mom is also big, because guys often end up with girls that look like their mom.

    If you're big WHITE girl - you're the dating equivalent of roadkill. Do you know how many medium-sized white girls are out there? BILLIONS. You'd better at least get on their level.



    I'm so hood.

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